WOW almost 2 years

It is coming up on two years that I started this journey... I can't believe that is true, but it was right after my 28th birthday and I turn 30 on October 29th... TWO YEARS... WOW

In these two years I have learned about more than weight loss, I have learned about myself... I set out on this journey to get healthy... not to look like a super model, but to be healthy.  I wanted to feel good, I wanted to have confidence, I wanted energy... of course I wanted to look better, but honestly the number on the scale wasn't as important to me as the feeling better part.

My original goal was 50lbs because I didn't believe I could possibly lose more than that.  Once I hit 50 I upped the goal to 100, once I hit 75 I upped it to 140... I haven't hit that 100 pound marker yet, and I guess I could look at myself as a failure for that... I mean in almost 2 years I haven't hit 100 pounds, seriously?!?!  To be quite honest,I HAVE looked at myself as a failure for awhile... It is FRUSTRATING!!! When you are trying so hard and you just feel stuck.  I am not gonna lie, I have not been being perfect, I have been doing little cheats here and there, but for the last month and a half I have maintained with in a 3 pound range.  And you know what, after I quit focusing on "you haven't hit 100lbs" I became okay with that, for now...

Two years is a LONG time to stick to a program... people burnout in 2 months... I have stuck to this and I have been successful, and I am proud of that... Am I where I want to be? NO But have I accomplished my original goal of feeling better, healthier, more confident? YES  I could sit here and beat myself up, but I'm pretty positive that doesn't fit in the "Healthy body, mind, & soul" category.

I think I needed a little "burn out" so that I could remember how great it DOES NOT feel when you aren't giving your health 100% and so that I could realize that I WILL be able to maintain this weight loss, where ever it is that I decide to maintain.

I've always said that there is a lot more to weight loss than weight loss, and I sincerely believe that... When you start losing drastic amounts of weight you start dealing with emotions that you aren't prepared for... excitement, fear, insecurity, false security... it's a roller coaster... If  I had lost the 140lbs in a year, or even two, I don't think I would be able to handle the emotions that came with it.  So, maybe I haven't lost as quickly as I'd like or as others think I should have, but I have lost at the rate that is safe for ME... physically & emotionally.